Pray Alot!

What does one do when they know that their child is in a bad relationship?
When we voice or opinion or our concern it causes a war. She become overly defensive.
She says that she is not dating this person any longer and that they are only friends. I know how this man has been over the years and how jealous he is. I can be nothing but concerned for her well being. He has shown very bad signs of being overly possessive over the last 5 years. Every time is appears that she is gotten free from his harmful intrusion in her life he's back. She keeps telling us that she is an adult now and we need to stay out of her relationships. As a parent that is not easy. Having Co-Dependant characteristics is even harder. It doesn't help that she lives with us and that we are constantly hearing of his miss doings. Such as borrowing money and trying to force her to do things. Recently I could not stop myself from telling her how I feel about this relationship. She blew up at her parents because she feels that we are trying to control her. I have made it perfectly clear now that if she doesn't want us to interfere or make judgment then she is not to bring it home. If he makes you angry then go someplace else and release your angry. If he makes you mad and refuses to drive you to work then don't call us to do it. She can't have it both ways. She can't come home and load it all on us and then expect us to just sit back and not say something. Now is the time I must pray and keep faith that everything will be okay.

Portrait Workshop

I had a very good weekend.
Friday I finished my painting that I was working on. I like it. It's so different then my usual detail work. Saturday I finished my photo portfolio that I have been putting together. I brought it to work today and everyone thinks it is great.
Sunday I went to a portrait workshop. It was a long drive to, but the traffic was low since it was so early. Thank goodness since a lot of it was under construction. When I got off the expressway I was overwhelmed with the size of the houses. The lady who hosted the event had this huge condo. Hell the basement/family room was bigger then my whole house. I did my best to fit in. There was 18 of us. 5 not from the CPSA club. The teacher gave a slide presentation for the first have of the day. It showed his precess. I was intrigued by his method. So different then mine. Then we had a nice lunch. Only the dog was begging. That really wouldn't have been a problem except the fact that we were all sitting with food in our laps. He even went so far as to take a large taste out of one of the ladies meals.
Then we went back down stairs and the teacher started a demo. Here I found it interesting that some of the ladies didn't work on the assignment. Some went as far as bringing something beside a person to work on. After all this was a portrait class. About 8 of us watched the demo and then he had us go draw. Later he came by and he was intrigued by my method. He even asked me to speed it up so he could see my progress. Like that was possible.
I had a lot of fun.
I was even invited to go to the CPSA meeting Nov. 21. It is so far from home, but I think driving to Cranbrook will be worth it. The doors of possibility might be opening up for me.

Finding my inner artist

I’ve always loved to draw. I took art classes in school and when it was time for college I knew that I wanted to do something that involved art. I began my college training in the fine arts at our local community college. After talking with a classmate I found out about the graphics department. I had a teacher that liked my artwork and suggested that I go to the Center for Creative studies. I submitted my portfolio and was accepted. Going to CCS is a full time commitment. I was having a hard time keeping up with the demand of home work, plus working. It was during that time that I meet my husband. He was staying with his sister who lived next door to me. When I became pregnant the stress was too much for me and I had to drop out of school. As the years went by I would take classes back at our community college. I eventually got my associates. Not in the career I wanted, but one that would help me help my family. I’m a technical Illustrator. Although I work as an artist it isn’t really want I want to do as an artist. It's very black and white and very boring. In the past I was to busy to even think about what I wanted, however over the last couple of years I have worked very hard on becoming a fine artist. I always thought that since I did not specialize in a certain style, medium or subject matter that I was not a “real” artist. Now I understand that those things make me the artist that I am. So I put my foot in the door and entered a gallery show. I made it in the show. Words can not express how I felt getting in. I felt that if fellow artists accepted me then I must be an artist. I started entering shows, I didn’t make them all and that is something I had to learn to deal with. Not everyone is going to like my work. I joined an art group and I even won ribbons in group shows. Recently I had a painting in a very important fund raiser. There were over 200 artists from all over Michigan in this show, some big names too. I can honestly say mine was the smallest painting, but I could also say that it held it’s own. It was a big deal for me to get in that show. I’m proud of my accomplishments. I’m going to keep working on my art and someday someone will buy it. Now that will be a happy day.

Life's changes

Here is something I will share with you that recently happened. My husband has been clean for 5 years. We are coming up on our 22 wedding anniversary. Only the last five has he ever been drug free. As you know I am an artist. Since I was so wrapped up being a co-dependant I put all idea of doing art on hold. My husband was never support of it. He thought it was a waste of time.

I did 12 step work about 5 years ago with a sponsor, but it still took me another 2 years to fully be able to be self focused. Three years ago I took out supplies and started working. My husband had no negativity about it. I would show him things and he would make some remarks, but I don't think that he thought I was serious. I have worked hard and even put myself out there to be criticized. I have always enjoyed art, but never felt like a true artist. Over the last two years I have been in art shows and even won some ribbons. Only until I was excepted by fellow artist that I started to feel like an true artist. I give it credit to the fact that I was honest with myself and did the 12 steps otherwise I don't believe that I would ever have gone back to my love of art. I allowed it to die. Like I did so many things people have in their lives. Everyday I have to reach out and take hold of the things I can. I'm thankful that I made a friendship with my sponsor and after all these years we still email.

Now here is the thing that surprised me. I found out a week ago about a one day art workshop held by an artist. I wanted to go, but at the same time I kept self doubting my abilities. I kept telling my husband I want to go, ...BUT...(and I would make all these excuses) However my husband would tell me I should do it. Finally one day while we were out for a walk he said do you want to take it? Do you think you can learn something? You don't give yours credit, your good. I was speechless. I said to him you really have come a long way. Thank you for being encouraging to me. He said "I have grown up. I realize now that I was selfish."

We both have had life changes.

Keep or delete?

I'm trying to decide if I should keep this blog on line. I barely write here anymore, however I feel that if I delete this I some how loose something. Then again if I do let go that might be a good thing. So I'm torn. What do you think? Keep or delete?

outside the bosses office.

My cube mate/ buddy at work really threw me one for a punch Monday after lunch.
She took me in the conference room to tell me that she talked to the boss and that she wants to be moved. That she is having a hard time concentrating and that I'm a distraction. I was dumb founded! We have worked together for a year. She requested to sit with me. We gop for walks and eat lunch together. Then she told me that she wants to trade with one of two people that I can NOT work with. I told her that I would not be able to work with this person and she told me that I will work things out. Oh I worked things out. I wrote an email to the boss telling him that she informed me that she wants to move and before he put someone next to me we need to talk. So he took me in his office and said that he was actually going to ask me to more. I said yes. I didn't tell my mate and when she found out she was a little upset. But you know what she wanted the separation so she got it. I moved to my new place at 4 today. My new cube mate is very nice. She will be a little upset in the morning because I'm not going to allow her to have her heater plugged into my power strip. Hopefully she will be okay with it.
So that has been going on and my heartburn/pressure has come back and with full force.
I took yesterday off because of it.
Oh and I forgot the new seating is right outside of the bosses office...... easier for him to call me in to lecture me I guess!

This is my voice stop borrowing it.

Sooo.. Apparently my voice hasn't changed since high school. First a friend I haven't seen in over 20 years told me that about a month ago that my voice still sounds the same.
Then yesterday I was at the grocery store talking to the cashier when the guy behind me says Hi(DAY). I smile and look at him with total surprise. I had no idea who this 40 year old man with gray hair is talking to me. He says it Johnathan ***** I say okay. He says from high school. I'm still standing there with this dumb smile and no recall. He says we worked at Burger king together. Still nothing. He says wait let me get out a photo of me with dark hair. He looked familiar but I'm really bad with the whole name face thing. I felt bad that I could recollect him. Poor guy.
Now today while I was at the Gallery, I was talking with this nice girl working there. She was in her early twenties. We talked for about 10 minutes when she suddenly says are you (DAY)? I was once again surprised and said yes, how do you know that? She has this puzzled look on her face and she says are you on the radio? Now I'm like what?? and I say nooo... SHe then tells me that I sound exactly like this lady on the radio who name is (DAY). I'm like really and tell her what happened yesterday. We are both like wow.
I'm thinking either I have a very common voice or a very odd one. NOT sure. I do know that my daughters friends have to be very careful to make sure they are talking to the right person for they have mistaken me for her and told me things that wellll... lets just say got her busted. Plus most people who call seem to have this problem because they always ask for me even though I answered the phone. Including my own father.
All I have to say is this is my voice so stop borrowing it.